Esta tristeza

I’ve got to start very early tomorrow, so I have to be brief. On the other hand, there is a lot to say. I hope I will manage to strike a balance between the two.

Marcus Aurelius told Jod we protest too much. Jod answered she complains to me and I do to the world, through this blog. This is partly true. But it is not about mere whining or, even, complaints. Those who know the Outpost might not be astonished that we don’t like it here. Those who know us (but how many are they? who exactly? I don’t know), should realise that it is not merely about not “liking” it here, it’s about the Outpost being completely incompatible with the life we wish to lead (or, meeker, the life we wish to lead is unrealistic in the Outpost). I hope that much can be gathered after reading these pages, n’ est-ce pas? I do not want to repeat myself or sprinkle the following lines with links. Our being here can be very seriously detrimental to our well-being, given that we are in the Outpost because we have no choice.

Let me just add here that we have by now adapted to the place and the society: we know how it works (like it or not) and we do not shock people around us unless we mean to or we cannot help it. We have sought out and are exploiting the available niches. But we are unhappy. This is easy to tell: whenever we are on a holiday (in the Home City or elsewhere) we behave like hyperactive cats in a frenzy, sleepless, racing to take everything in. The whole situation reeks of unhealthiness.

I have to sleep now.

One thought on “Esta tristeza

  1. One could enquire as to why you ended here in the first place or, indeed ,why it is so hard to move elsewhere.

    In any case, for someone who hasn’t grown up and lived in the Outpost for the entirety of his life it is perfectly reasonable to feel imprisoned in it.I am a native and I do share a great deal of your frustration. But I don’t have the choice of simply moving elsewhere-my roots run too deep into the ground.You however seem to have the option to seek a better life elsewhere (if not now then maybe in the future?).Isn’t this something to give you strength and lessen the impact of what makes you unhappy here?

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