Re: lack of supply of male strippers

Tot is getting married and Jod has been assigned the task to organise the hen night. Now, hen nights, I am told, are tame and slightly pedestrian affairs here. Jod wanted to make a difference, so she came up with a Plan: organise the hen night in the local recently renovated (with EU, UN and US money) Turkish baths! They would provide snacks, drinks, a masseur, use of facilities and a male stripper until late! We consulted Tot and an ad hoc committee of friends and decided against it, though: the good girls to take part (all 23 of them) would be offended by the Oriental(ist) languor suggested by the location, they would anyway be lost in “the maze the Old City is” on their way there, they would be taken aback by the proximity of the place to a mosque and some run-down areas where Pakistanis live; finally, there is nowhere to park for free around there.

Jod was still very keen on the stripper business — Turkish baths or no Turkish baths. However, Tot’s future husband rang her and sternly warned her that he would call off the wedding should a stripper thing go on. He urged Jod not to destroy his life and relationship for a capricious whim. I fail to understand any of that: would it be an option for 22 women to stand by in a public place while the bride-to-be gets off with the stripper? Isn’t there so much more to see on Outpost beaches fleshwise? Maybe the future husband wished to firmly assert his authority? In any case Jod asked him why he resents a professional toned male arse ornamenting the eating, drinking and (maybe) dancing of a bunch of happy females. He said it is a matter of upbringing and principles. Anyway — I can divulge no more.

So, no stripper. Still, knowing where to get a male one in the Outpost is a useful piece of information, either in case we get to organise another hen night for a bride to some ruthless, lax and decadent man, or in the futuristic eventuality we organise a gay wedding bachelor party here. So, we asked around and this is what we came across:

“I think I know of one male stripper, yes.”
“Hang on, not the one that was murdered, right?”
(I choke on my drink, the discussion is interrupted. I recuperate, the discussion resumes)
“No, no: he was not murdered. He is actually alive and well — he is doing time.”
“Well, he stabbed someone he had a quarrel with.”
“The stripper?”
“Yes, a pretty boy he is, too — both him and his brother. But now he’s in prison.”
“Anyone else — preferably not in prison?”
“Er, oh, no, not that I know of. There might be male strippers in Aerosol, though.”

5 thoughts on “Re: lack of supply of male strippers

  1. Very good post. I share your anxiety for the lack of male strippers.
    And I applaud Jod. Great idea.
    Too bad the husband has a small p (oops, sorry, I do not want to be pornographic on such a decent venue!).
    Greetings from the other side.

  2. Allotrios, your social astuteness and sensitivity for the issues that really matter is legendary of old.

    I am surprised you are still on the other side: your phone seems uncooperative. When are you coming over this side?

  3. By the way, I meant to say Tot’s future husband.
    (just to clarify any possible confusions…:)

    and, my mind is probably what is not cooperative. (I’ll explain over the phone..)

  4. If:
    1. I ever get married

    2. I get married in the Outpost

    3. Jod and you are still in the Outpost,

    I will definitely ask Jod to organise by hen's night (or bacholerette party — I like the American phrase better). Strippers are definitely a must, and an evening spent at the Turkish baths sounds wonderful. Although another idea for an interesting hen's would be to have a scavenger hunt. Much more difficult to organise, but if time permits, it can be a great deal of fun, and the husband-to-be need not be concerned (unless one of the items on the to-do list is "make random male strip clothes off". You can explore either this city, make a list of things to see, places to go, things to say to strangers (or do) and tally up points in the end over champagne and pizza. Unfortunately, there are no real sex shops in the Outpost, which would have allowed for the scavenger hunt to include items like gathering best vibrator, most weird tasting condom and other sex toys to be compared and laughed over at pizza munching point tallying session. Oh well. But under no circumstances must said hen night take place at a club or popular bar, with a bunch of pish posh ladies oohing over penis balloons and gasping at penis chocolate cake. Those are BOOORING.

    Man, the original idea was great.

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